© 2020 by LAURA TUTHALL. All rights reserved.

The Quiet Crazy Dark (2015)

 

so I said I was done

with these secrets

but I’m sick of you

teaching me why

it was better to lie

maybe when we get out

of this town

I won’t see you around

every day

and the dark

won’t get in my way

 

I don’t even cry

at night anymore

I just stare up and see

the stars through the ceiling

that I’ll never reach

but I still can’t seem

to give a shit about it

here I go

writing another song

with verses on tears

I still cry in subways

‘cause there I can feel

with the salt-stained earbuds

in my ears

 

I got lots of stories

left to tell

but not a lot of fortunes

left to sell

 

there you were on Sunday

just trying to rest

when little bee that I was

buzzed into your nest

we weren’t even friends

when I followed you under

the cherry trees

and begged for new wings

 

we all wrote lots of stories down

but they’re just separated words now

 

and since then

a lot has given in

to giving in

but not me

see? no more blood on the carpet

just pills in my pocket

 

you’re scared of the future

but I’m scared of now

of not knowing I gambled all that I have

 

the sand is almost through

the glass but when

I look back at the beach

there’s just one set of footprints

that lead out to sea

 

you are scared of the future

but I’m scared of you

of finding out you think

I’m nothing to lose

 

so I said I was done

with these secrets

but I never quite gave up on lies

or forgave you

for not seeing through mine

but soon you won’t even see me around

any days

and I hope just a little

that gets in your way

but I still want the world

to be wild for you

just go out in the fields

like the wind and the birds do

if you ever reach

that damn mountaintop why

don’t you send me a picture

to keep in this

quiet crazy dark of mine