The Restless Ground (2015)

 

to me it seems like only

yesterday that I learned

the meaning of all these confusing words

and the nebulous notes they are tied to

I taste like the letters that made them

before they fell through the cracks

in my one-track overly packed brain

 

don’t you know that

things are always over

before they start

they can’t tell us

how to break our own hearts

it’s up to us and

the restless ground

 

today lost its way

somewhere in the stargazing fray

I’d think about it more

but lately thinking makes me

dizzier than drugs for dinner

I would throw myself into the sea

but I mean more than that to me

but not quite enough

to give up this stuff

and hold hands with boys

instead of beer

 

today all of our old mistakes

fell out of our pockets like loose change

it's over

we never had to pay

but I, I wanna make giant messes

the kind you can't clean up

without redresses

yeah I would like to owe the world

more than it owes me

 

all signs point

to a dead end route

but I can't wait to see

how the story will turn out

I hope it’s up and down and hell

‘cause don’t you know that

things are seldom over

at the cliff’s edge

we’ve got miles of fall

to spin our own webs

it’s up to us and

the restless ground

 

today things are clear

we’ve got time and space

and fear of wasting it

I wouldn’t trade it

for the world inside my head

now look, I made some giant messes

the kind you can’t clean up

without redresses

and I would like to reap

the retribution I’ve sown

 

all signs point

to a dead end route

but I can't wait to see

how the story will turn out

I hope it’s hell away from home

‘cause don’t you know that

things are never over

until I say

they can’t tell me

how to write my own play

there’s a million different ways

to garden the restless ground

 

oh I lost today

somewhere in the stargazing fray

I’d think about it more

but lately thinking makes me

dizzier than drugs for dinner

I would throw myself into the sea

but I mean more than that to me

but not quite enough

to give up this stuff

and hold hands with boys

instead of beer

 

to me it never seems

like I’m done learning these words

or maybe the right phrase is teaching

reaching and reaching

for notes they are tied to

I taste like the letters that made me

before I fell through the cracks

in my one-track overly packed brain

 

all signs point

to a dead end route

but I’m dying to see

how the story will turn out

I’ll throw myself into the sea

just to be a drop of water

in the holy H20 waves

they can’t tell us how

to dig our own graves

it’s up to us and

the restless ground

© 2020 by LAURA TUTHALL. All rights reserved.